changing the world
September 2008 
Overwhelmed
Posted on Jun 17th, 2008
by 
Amber
Amber
Overwhelmed with things I have to do, with expectations of me and mine of the world,
I feel squished between platforms of duty and tired. Looking for inspiration, I see a video of a girl nearly half my age telling people of power to be better with such force that I feel both inspired and ashamed.
Why wasn't I her? Why was I not pushed and led to do such greatness then? How can the zeal I have now have remained dormant in childhood? I blame myself for not saving the world before I'd even thought about getting a driver's license. I suppose I cannot be blamed for thinking like a child when I was a child.
"Everything happens the way it is supposed to, Amber." Is what I hear in my head. But it is hard to accept.
"Why wasn't I supposed to start helping others earlier?" I reply to me. "What possible motive could the universe have for keeping me from making an even bigger difference by starting earlier? How many people or causes could I have helped if I'd started when I was 14, or 12, or 10, or 8?" We have seen the power children can have, how 11-year olds in Canada can raise millions for the homeless and 16 year olds can save the environment in New York. Incompetency due to youth is not a valid excuse.
When I hear these things, and know that time has been stolen away for me (or that I have wasted precious moments somehow?), I know I have to work even harder to catch up.
But there is so much to do...
I feel squished between platforms of duty and tired. Looking for inspiration, I see a video of a girl nearly half my age telling people of power to be better with such force that I feel both inspired and ashamed.
Why wasn't I her? Why was I not pushed and led to do such greatness then? How can the zeal I have now have remained dormant in childhood? I blame myself for not saving the world before I'd even thought about getting a driver's license. I suppose I cannot be blamed for thinking like a child when I was a child.
"Everything happens the way it is supposed to, Amber." Is what I hear in my head. But it is hard to accept.
"Why wasn't I supposed to start helping others earlier?" I reply to me. "What possible motive could the universe have for keeping me from making an even bigger difference by starting earlier? How many people or causes could I have helped if I'd started when I was 14, or 12, or 10, or 8?" We have seen the power children can have, how 11-year olds in Canada can raise millions for the homeless and 16 year olds can save the environment in New York. Incompetency due to youth is not a valid excuse.
When I hear these things, and know that time has been stolen away for me (or that I have wasted precious moments somehow?), I know I have to work even harder to catch up.
But there is so much to do...
Access: Public
You are doing exactly what you need to do dear…do not allow the ego's trap for “more, more, more” to rob you of the beautiful life you currently live. You are enough, you do enough, you give enough…we all came here with a purpose and each of us lives it everyday…what ever your current situation is exactly what it should be and your past is no different. You are a beautiful soul dear…alway remember that.
Hi Amber, and wonderful to see my friend Jung Girl here too..
Amber.. I say this with unlimited love and respect for you…
Give me a break!
When I was a child, I fully intended on being a priest.. right up until I was 17. I was so involved in the Church, charity, and helping others when I was so very young, even my city gave me a citizenship award.
Then, two things happened…
1) I discovered girls.. (temptation.. that I could not say no to.. lol)
2) Deep in my heart, I knew something was missing (God speaking to me) but did not know what it was.
So, instead, I got degrees in engineering and physics, and spent the next 25 years as a businessman in high tech.
Now, you wanna talk about a waste? I was so angry when I realized that I missed so many years of making a difference.
Then, I received exactly the same advice as Jung Girl is offering to you…
I sat down, and wrote a journal of reflection… what could I learn from the path I took.. that could help me understand the purpose of my choices… priest , scientist, business man? I wrote down EVERY learning moment I could ever remember.. from when I was 2 years old.. to when I was 45…
Guess what happened? I discovered that the real difference I could make in this world, had to do with the my deep, knowledge and pure love of God, and at the same time, be respected by people whose rationalism and love of science has taken them away from God and their spirit…
I can speak the language of many atheists and agnostics.. and help them see God in ways they cannot do on their own… because their minds are closed.
To me.. you are so very very lucky to have this moment of overwhelm and anger at such a very youthful age… think of all of the adults who go through their entire lives without ever having such a moment… not because they have the wisdom of Jung Girl, but because they are totally unconscious that they have a purpose… and spend their searching for something that is 'just them'.
I am sorry to write so much here… but you are one of the luckiest girls in the world.. and if you follow and trust Jung Girl's words… your overwhelm will be replaced very quickly with overwhelming joy for who you are… and for the incredible power of your gift.
Love
Dave
Dear Amber,
There is absolutely no need to think you should have done more in the past when you are doing wonderful things in the present. Live now and be grateful for all the opportunities to make a change you have now. I think what you to is great, you are a great inspiration and you are actively pushing forward - so why look back?
You rock girl and I admire you for your drive and your enthusiasm!
Love
J.
Thank you all for your thoughts. Sometimes things around me are so noisy and the stress is so high that writing about it helps.
There are times, like yesterday when I wrote this, that I come close to crumbling at the regret I feel for having not started earlier. But complaining and worrying gets nothing done, and only holds me back; I know this. :) I know that I'm doing what I can now, and that because time travel isn't possible, I can only look forward. :)
This is one of the few places I've felt I've been able to show this sort of 'vulnerability' and share my struggles in my personal development and leadership. There's so much pressure, from those around me and within myself. It is nice to come here and know I can be supported. That others 'get it'.
So thank you all.
Hi Amber, I was excited when I saw the title of this blog, and I wanted to read it to see whether you had come up with any ways to cope with this feeling of “overwhelm.” I've written blogs about it, too. Mostly just saying, “excuse me, I'm overwhelmed again.” I think it's interesting that while we both have chosen to make a contribution that includes a lot of helping others see what THEY could be contributing, we both also may use this word, “overwhelm,” to describe the experience of our life every so often. Maybe that's because in order to do what we do, we get connected with other people's energy a lot, and that can be tricky to deal with.
I saw the video of the girl talking to the UN too, and I was thinking good for her, and good for her parents, and good for the supportive network of people that her parents must have had access to in order to get her there. Truly she had a privileged seat. And I think that people helped make that happen because there are certain things that children can say politically that people will listen to with different ears than if they come from a more traditional source. So I don't really see it so much in an individual light, but as part of a process, where people, including the little girl, realized that it was possible to do this thing, so they crated a current, a tide, and then were willing to ride it. In other words, it takes a village to do just about anything worth doing.
Sometimes when I'm overwhelmed, I think it's because I've lost touch with the wave and feel somewhat “beached.” But that's the nature of life, that more waves wash in, and bring with them their tremendous energy, to take us someplace where you and the wave wants to go. Thank you for posting your “overwhelm” blog, because it made me say all this on record, so that I could hear it, because I probably needed to realize what I thought about this and hear it as much as anyone else.
Wishing you peace and positive energy.